Is this the way to Ikea...?
Wings
Dear readers.
Have you ever witnessed to rugged, butch, masculine men insert a two seater sofa into the back of an astra? No. Neither have me and Martinistoke. Which is precisely why I still don't have my effing sofa looking sexy as Holly Valance in a wet t-shirt competition in my lounge! After much umming and arring, Martin and I decided that, 'yes, 180cm worth of settee will fit in this vehicle with the seats down and a paasanger assuming a crash position behind the driver'. However, no amount of guessing or arm length measuring could have prepared us for the sad fact that there was no hope. No joy. No sofa. After embarressingly wheeling the offending furniture back into the warehouse to get the refund, I left with the following purchases: 1x10 Bamboo Sticks = £3.00
1x10 AA Batteries = £1.90
Grand Total £4.90
or an 80 mile round trip (including Tesco provisions)
or a complete and total waste of f**king time.
After dreaming for 11 months of my klippan plain dye two seater sofa I'm left to remark on this urgent plea; does anyone have access to or means to a large vehicle, be it a people carrier, land rover, bus, tractor, caravan, tractor or cement mixer?! After trying and failing with rent-a-geek taxi's I'm left to grovel like the setteeless b-sexual I am. Sod the abseil, this cause is more just!!! Joke. Honest(!)
I'm not even in the mood for a RICE!!!
Wings xXx
posted by Wings @ 4:20 PM
2 Comments:
oh my god benji what a saga we did have but it just wasnt happening was it , at least now u have ur bamboo sticks to go with ur oriental themed abode and batteries for ur sexy silver slimelime tv ! it just wasnt happening was it. when they brought it out of that warehouse it was just a no no wasnt it! yet we shall prevail and mission impossible SHALL be acomplished and you will have a kool klippan in your bachelor pad sooner than u can say rice and pea!
spk soon
martella xx
LMAO!
Yes Martini we did have rather a night. Felt rather sheepish wheeling my furniture back into the warehouse...
At least the 10 custard donuts I force fed myslef kept my spirits high. I also found your MINGIN salad cream last night when packing my shopping away. They will be promptly delivered upon my next visit. Vile.
Stroponstoke, the vision of using 4 shoguns as castors made me topple off my stool with a titter! At this rate I'm gonna have to carry a freakin settee home when they open the Longton branch in '06!!! Still no luck finding a suitable vessel today. Woe is I.
Keep scouting my gay commando's.
B xXx
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