Of Sofas, Dirty Canvassing, Storage Heaters and Ming

Wings

... and when I say 'Ming' I don't mean the chinese dynasty with a penchant for decorative vases. I mean ew. That's how I felt last night when I got in from the club after working 12:00-12:00 at red then 12:15-3:45 at the club as glass collector. After spending three and a half hours squeezing and swinging around sweaty homosexual-gays and lady-dykes with half filled glasses of pepsi and carling bottles I was just a little sticky to say the least but not in the way one would aspire to... Having said that I had 'the most untold time' working there. Being emergency staff definatly has it's perks (besides free entry, free soft draught, free cloakroom, staff drinks, staff deals, free cinema tickets, staff party invites... need I go on?). For a start I got to work with Nee Nee, Becci and Martini behind the bar for a stint during breaks from which I had a good(!) view of a rather blue beaked Orville the duck and Keith Harris. Needless to say, methinks it freaked me out a little that a grown man could do what he was doing up there on stage to a crowd of 16-60 year olds with dignity! But hey ho, whatever floats the boat. Rob the directer of my other job may not have been informed about my club shift and so seemed in a stinkin mood but I'd rather be molested by trannies and pensioners than canvass in a leather pinny outside work with menus like I had to this week. I couldn't have painted the awkwardness on my face any better than if Sir Rolf had done it himself. MING!
Rhia was in too with her new hairdo getting lots of attention be it wanted or otherwise. Speaking of the little sis, she has earned the 'sibling of the month award' for delivering unto me my 13 month dream this saturday. As I type this reader, I finally have my natural look three seater canvas settee from Ikea. And it's bringing a tear to my eye. (wipe). The darling got it for me during her own shopping spree to Ikea (which ended in HER buying £5 worth of bins and coat hangers lol) using a friends van on the understanding that she could have my old settee. DEAL! She's now settling in very well in Kidsgrove about 3 minutes away from Mum's and already got through a lot of (bohemian) decorating this weekend and is a proud owner of such treasures as 'freezer', 'oven' and 'microwave' if not bed!
Also saw Ms Lunt again over the weekend. Hoping she's missing the place enough to at least consider staying in mongy congy a bit longer so that it's half way between here and her mcr metropolitan lifestyle. Freaked her and everyone else out on friday with my full surgeons outfit. Dr Ben Dover donned gloves, mask, cape, hat and pj bottoms in his most realistic (if uncomfortable) costume yet! Look out for pics on soon!
In trying not to make my sofa inhale my lounge I decided this morning I would remove (if illegally) the storage heater off the wall it was against. When Martini told me they were heavy I thought he was being a mimsy. Little did I kno they are actually packed with 16 fcuking bricks! And cladding. And 239 screws. And more ming! After nearly giving downstairs a skylight with a south facing view I finally tore the bastard out and am now in the process of removing it piece by piece from my hall to the bins on lockwood street so nobody can trace it back here... (creepy creepy catchy monkey)
Well, I've rambled quite enough I think. Will be plenty to report next week from more interviews, decorating Rhias (bigger) flat and The Queens birthday. See you all in the hive friday!

Wings xXx