Of Spinning, Abbreviations and BB7

...AND WE ALL WONDERED WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO BABS...

Wings

OK. You go to the zoo. You visit the monkey house. It's full of bizzare hairy loud creatures. They're throwing faeces at eachother. It's disgusting, primal, aggressive and slightly funny. But you can't stop watching the mess behind the glass screen in front of you. This is exactly how I feel about Big Brother 7. After gathering the usual gang at mine for voddy and biccys we watched in horror as 14 of Britains (ok and 1 Canadian) weirdest citezens went into the second most famous house in Blighty. Between the wanker and whistle of Pete, the bum curling touchy feelyness of Shabaz and the shout at your telly Nikki I think we're in for a freaking STUNNER of a series. Love it or hate it but Big Brother has landed. And so goes my social life for 93 days...
Which should help me to concentrate a little more for my interview at work for UHVC (yes it wouldn't be vodafone if you didn't have an abbreviation) or Ultra High Value Care. No this is not a laundry detergent, it's a fully encompassing job of brown nosing, multi tasking and 30% more lolly on my current basic. So good karma headed wigsward for tuesday please folks.
I also find it to be my duty, nay, my MISSION, to warn you all of the Devil lurking in our midst since the end of 1998. No it's not the fluff under Glorias bed, it's the eternally damnable torture art commenly referred to as 'Spinning'. Imagine it if you will. You walk into a room with black walls and a couple of fans on the floor with a few rows of excercise bikes. About four middle aged skin sacks and an overly hyperactive gym lady with a croyden facelift and a penchant for wearing grey (just so you can see the sweat) join you. You think "hey an hours bike ride to Dance Nations 2004 doesn't sound that bad", right?
Wrong.
Half an hour in after my feet had flown out of the straps a few times, I'd dribbled lucozade hydro into my gasping mouth and lost the feeling in my ankles I was quite ready to use sheer will power to make my static vehicle run down the trollop who was mumbling enthusiastically for us all to "add resistance, a little faster, out of your saddle on four" etc.
Bitch.
After feeling pretty ill by the fact I'd had my tea about an hour before hand and sweating like a glass blowers arse me and Rob promptly went to the tuns for a swift one to celebrate Marcias birthday and listen to Ruby 'unique rendition' of Nelly the Elephant... hmmmm....
In other news it appears that the club is officially to aquire Bar Chronique (aka Bar PR mark2) and Monica is taking over Fusion (previously La De Daa) to further dilute Stokes waneing scene.
Also Madams birthday looms next wednesday with everyone in the same place at the same time so THAT should be interesting. Methinks an early sherry by the DJ box with Joan and Mattchu and me and Rob may slide up as the others start to scale the walls...
I'm off to bed now as too much BB has made me tired and my eyes are acheing.
Nighty Night xxx