Of Double D's, Cave Dwelling, Ducks and Donuts...

LIFES A DRAG AND THEN YOU WORK WITH THEM...

Wings

Well it's been a fun few nights in this week. Watched 'The Descent' tuesday night with Martini, Rob, Julie, Dom and Adam at mine complete with surround sound and creepy guys screaming behind Dom. Not the best idea. Brilliant film and the only one to make me jump so loudly since I was a wee bairn over Ghostbusters 2 (Viggo, gross).
Thursday night saw the revelations that 1)Dom had slept with Camp Ritchie of Teletubbie bag fame 2) Julie is a Double D 3) Me and Martin can deep throat iced buns (don't ask) 4) Dom slept with Camp Ritchie 5) My lounge is infested with ducks of the bottom burp variety and 6) DOM GOT TO THIRD BASE WITH CAMP RITCHIE HELLO!!!
Also Ben and Ricky finally got tinterweb, Rob came out a little at work, 'Creep' is a bizarre and pretty crap film and Stroponstoke is threatening an on scene appearence this weekend!
I'm going to go and wet myself in my 'Xaviers School For Gifted Youngsters' fitted black tee shirt. Geek and proud...

Wings xXx

Of Nothing In Particular...

SUPRISE SUPRISE, JULIE IS THE MOST MANLY ONE AGAIN...

Well I seem to be getting plenty of mail and texts asking when I'll be updating this fair site again. Truth to be told nothing much has really happened. Rob met my Mum and sisters this weekend and generally did as little as possible doing coupley sickly things. All kinds of good! Club wasn't up to much saturday except that Joan was on top form - albeit at the cost of his regurgitated supper, YUM! Just enjoying spending time in and out with Mr Locks and catching up with the girls from beefeater now my sister is working there; thereby providing the much missed half price food and ice cream. Oh how we missed the chocolate challenge...
Descent night tonight so we're all having a night at mine eating ice cream and laughing at six gals in a cave...

If you got any news or goss feel free to pass it on to ya favourite feathered friend.

(A Bird Flu-ed) Wings xXx

Bobby!

Wings

Name - Robert Locker
Alias - Bobby, Locks, Rob, Handsum, Baby Buns
Age - 22
Residence - Trentham / My Place
Profession - Student And Council Office Boy
Favourite Pose - The Stagger
Trademark Fashion - £80 Polo Shirts, My Jackets, Baggy Shorts
Smokes - Nope
Drinks - Vodka In Any Way Shape Or Form
Loves - Football, Cheese Baguettes, Trigger Happy TV, Campy Music, Getting Legless
Hates - Being Ribbed At Work, Dirty Micheal, Hospital Cancelations
Role - My Number One Guy (For Real) And Human Hot Water Bottle
Most Likely To Say - Triple Please, Hic
Least Likely To Say - Go On Bolton!

Of Dusty, Mandy, Ivana and Etta...

IVANA MASSAGE AND RANDY MANDY - OH THE PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE...

MR HILTON ESQUIRE AND MRS DUSTY HILTON

COOKIE, MARCIA AND ROSIE CHEEKS

MADAM LOLA AND SEXY ROB :oP

Wings

Well as you may have guessed from previous blogs and the title of this post folks it was the Annual Drag Ball last night at the club. And what a turn out we got! Some really good efforts and wacky ideas along with the inevitable scary cases whereby some poor queen has borrowed his sisters shawl and his mums bingo wig...
Last night starred 'Randy Mandy', a Britney lookalike schoolgirl who happens to work in Royal Mail call centre. Ivana Massage, an east european beauty therapist who works in Phones 4 U. Etta Lottacok, a very svelte stuardess from Virginial Airways who puts a few hours in the Food Court up 'anley duck. And Miss Dusty Hilton who suddenly became my date due to the totally unplanned match we found ourselves in. That and Destiny was too busy painting up everybodies faces!
Really good laugh had by all; even if seeing Martini drag up piece by piece shall scar me forever. My number 1 guy Mr Locker also looked mighty fine and dapper in his suit too and made staying with Dusty all the more difficult. Had to parade on stage with Dusty (who forgot the name of the charity she was going to give a contribution to if she won) and decided to head home after the show.
However when me and Rob tried to flee in a taxi, manager Paul grabbed us and told me that me and Dusty had to go up on stage to receive our prize money! So Dusty came third place, all 7ft 9 inches of her glammour puss self and I'm well chuffed for her! Now have a crown of blemishes (aka spots) where my white trilby seemed to chaffe. Enjoy the piccies everyone :D

Wings xXx

PS the pyjama party sucked but saturday with Angie Brown was amazing!!!

Of Canes, Pimps And Pyjamas...

CHECK OUT THE PINS!

WHO'S THE NAUGHTIEST?

DESTINY WHIPS MY BOBBY INTO SHAPE

EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW YOU LUCKY SHITS!

Well the Clubs 10th anniversary is well under way this week with as many excuses to visit the Smiffy fancy dress shop as possible. Last night saw School Disco so we donned our favourite shorts, blazers and ties, combed down the hair and pulled our socks up until the circulation was cut off from our toes. Didn't make as much of an arse as last time I did school uniform (see 'Of Leglessness, Riding White Swans And The Great Escape...') but did manage to use my cane on many an ass and legs! Best £1.99 I've spent this week so far. It did however go missing at around 3am while we were playing on the park in hartshill and cleaning the 30ft slide with our behinds. Which of course meant walkin home in our undies. And ordering kebabs with no trousers on. THAT classy. Look out for more shaming pics with evidence this weekend...
Finally completed my pimp outfit today as well by finding a trilby, spatz and white gloves. Will be bargaining out the likes of Destiny (Neil), Destinys Child (Dom), Ariel (Oli) and whatever Martini finally decides on calling herself on sunday. Also got BIG slippers for the pyjama party on friday. Will be a comfy one at least :)
Other news so far this week - Gloria was spotted today mincing around in her brown jacket and blatently ignoring the hollering of my subtle self in the Potteries Shopping Centre. We shall have you about this Glo... My week off work has totally rushed by but have got the last of the week with Rob. I've also had all my remaining Club shifts removed so I think the next time I'll be on there is as emergecy staff for new years; hopefully my vodka tolerence will improve! And we also caught up with Hayley Jane Superstar now that she has returned from Sheffield and all it's stripping steel workers! Of for a fat bastard pasta in assuri now. YUM!

Ta ta for now you mimsys

Wings xXx

Of Clowns, Cuddles and Flat Sundays...

I'VE GOT CANDY >:}

WHEN WE TOLD DOM SMOKING WOULD BE THE DEATH OF HIM...

CHEW MY NECK ANYTIME MR LOCKER - AND A HORNY CHARLIE

Wings

Well, hectic all last week but finally have chance to fill in my 2 cents today. I'm sure you're all waiting with baited breath. No?

Tough.

Worked like a dog all last week more so at the weekend. Did friday night for halloween at the club dressed as a pretty freaky clown. I even spooked myself after applying the makeup etc. Made a total of two lesbians cry, three mates run off from me and a manager tell me to stay upstairs out of the way. Similar reactions in Asda at 3am too... All ended up with me trying to remove said face at 4am and going into vodafone for my 9am shift with blue eyebrows still... hmmm.
Saturday night was bloody awful working as I was so tired and met some tiny red haired piss head scouse called Sonya who very drunkerdly belched "I lyck yoor heir!" and sunday in vodafone was all the more dire due to my utter lack of sleepytime. A few red bulls saw me eager to hit back out with the sunday social but certain 'elements' really ruined the night for a few of us making me desperate get home in bed with my man.
Speaking of who I am totally besotted! Only spent two (very sleepless) nights apart from him so far and loving spending time with him. He's the kinda guy you'd tak see you Gran (if only mine was compus mentus) let alone your mum. Proper nice guy and everyone seems to like him too! Bonus! Done little else than cuddle up to him on nights in and a meal out last night at Red which was pretty much perfect! Enjoying this serious real date malarky.
In other news Stroponstoke has returned to Blighty equipped with a new flair and lingo of his own (he can order coffee and everything), Jason moved back to Crewe officially leaving me without anybody to cook for, HayleyJane got back in touch via the beefeater grapevine now my lil sis has gotten a job there (long live the mantle of Haslehursts), and Charlie seems to have officially returned back to his usual easy self - ie live, drink and enjoy! Oh and I got a week off work - SHIBBY!

Wings xXx