And Here It Is...

RUN CHLOE, RUN!!!!!!!

Wings

Well, as promised here's my 4am blog to greet the fact that I'm RG3 free! Had a (tipsy) last shift in Noahs where we were pelted with work so it went very fast. Was with me main biatch Tasha (fancy a shag?) and even had the honour of Thelma (Jeff) on my last hours. Went up club to meet lots of Red/White Lion/Noahs staff with Kiki and Oli and had a wikkid night boogieing and drinking. Damn the butch one for swappin her half sipped aftershock and claiming it was mine, BLEEEURGH! Managed say proper goodbyes to Tash, Flange Marie, Thomacina, Thelma, Holly Molly, Gert and Rob so was all good.
Now nursing a bruise mind where the nippy Kiki got peckish on me chest so gonna go put some ice on it. Fer all the staff at RG3 who made it big thanks fer makin a class night. For those who didn't (Ellen, Chris, Kerry, Lynn etc)revenge shall be sweet.
Also discovered my protege has evolved into a lil brother which was pretty kewl so I even gained more family tonight LOL.
Vodawhore and bright new (sociable life) here I come!!!

Wings xXx

Of Personality Tests...

Wings

Here's a little something keep y'all amused for 5 minutes. If people post their answers on here I'll tell you what they mean by monday.

List your favourite animal and TWO words to describe it without using colours or names
List your second favourite animal and do the same (no colours or names)
Give two words describing the sky (no colours or names)
Give two words describing the ocean (no colours or names)
Give two words describing white water rafting (again no names or colours)

Blue Peter badges to be won, send your full details on a large SAE to www.wingsstoke.blogspot.com

Wings xXx

M4rcus

Wings

Name - Mark Barnett
Alias - Mummybear, M4rcus, Markeypoos
Age - The Youthful Side Of 25
Residence - He Likes To Say South Cheshire, We Say Maybank
Profession - Courier And Twink Oggler
Favourite Pose - The I'm-Butch-Honestly-Luv
Trademark Fashion - Eyebrow Piercings, Hoodies, Shorts And Vests
Smokes - He Confirms No
Drinks - At Christmas, Birthdays And Barmitzphahs
Loves - Stuey, Curtains (As In Hair Not Drapes), Busted, McDonalds Hot Dogs, Newquay, Scooby Doo
Hates - Knee Operations, Most Of His Exes And Their Exes, Alkyfrolix
Role - All Round Top Bloke And Good Friend For A Deep And Meaningful (Conversation You Dirty Pervs)
Most Likely To Say - ScoobyDoobieDoooooo (Ahem)
Least Likely To Say - That McFly Outrank Busted

Of Feeling Like Heaven...

WARNING! THIS SCENE IS GOING TO BE REPEATED WITHIN 24HRS (with better hair)

Wings

Well, I've had a few texts enquiring about thursdays date so lets start there. WOW! Met up with Kiki (who now knows of her 'Bobness') at fiveish in wetherspoons. My refusal notwithstanding to enter the chained premises we spent a pretty awkward hour in there before heading along to watch Madagascar at the flix. I've forgotten how good it feels to be able to pratt around with, hold hands with and kiss someone in public. Had a wicked time there before heading to mine for an episode of Little Britain (cue dodgy impersonations, "I'm a lady!") and Moulin Rouge. Watched about the first five minutes worth and spent the rest just talking about anything, everything and nothing. Was sooo kewl find that we had so much in common and we're on the same level (scary to think of another me with longer hair and different pieces I know but stay with me here). Lots of tickling, teasing and cuddling to fill the evening with before she went home to leave me smiling SO cheesily.
Spent the night in the club for Charlies birthday (to which he didn't turn up, oops) with Oli and covering Destinys toilet breaks (of which there were many believe me) on the decks so got to see what a thursday is like a la club. Not too bad. Did the usual harrassing of policemen in asda after escorting Destiny on her dairylea dunkables mission (much to Oli's amusement) then chilled at mine watchin Lion King 3 doin massages for them both in my thru lounge as Destiny de-trannied to NeeNee again! So all in all a fun filled day that's made this lil b-sexual feelin pretty darn good!
Just finished my last (flat) shift in Red too as I'll be covering the Noahs tommorrow for Sonya then it's the leaving do so I forwarn you all of a slightly anneibriated message around 4am online...

Wings xXx

Lexx!

Wings

Name - Alexis Sadler
Alias - Lexx, Lezza, AAAALLLLEEEEEXXXXX, Alex, Miss Faghag, Al
Age - 22
Residence - Gayland, Brighton
Profession - Part Time Layabout Ex Student Scum
Favourite Pose - Cross Eyed Pissed Look
Trademark Fashion - Black, Green Silver. Nuff Said.
Smokes - Faghag In More Than One Sense...
Drinks - Martini (The Spirit, Not A Gay)
Loves - Dirty Poofs, Gay Clubs, Gay Lives, Gay Gay GAY!
Hates - Viggo, Sorry Margo, Mingers, Keepin Her Tits Covered
Role - The One That Got Away With Bad Timing Issues
Most Likely To Say - BEEEEEEEEN or You Aint Ma Mavva!
Least Likely To Say - What A Sensible Blouse!

In Three Words...

MARTINI ENJOYS ANOTHER FRIDAY OUT IN THE BREEZE WITH RUBY ON HER KNEES!

Wings

You know when you're doing the flirty-getting-to-know you texts and they do the inevitable "describe yourself in three words"? Well, it's about as easy to fill out as a little blue box on faceparty. So to get an honest P.O.V. I phoned a friend (well text) and asked for their opinion. The response? 1) Dependable. Quite a good quality methinks. 2) Blond. As in the hair colour not density. As you can tell this person aint known me long as I change my hair more than my bedding (and I certainly don't sleep in a pit of pubes, skin cells and cat hairs unlike SOME I could mention). 3) Freak. FREAK! When pressed for an explanation they assured me it was in regards to my 19 bodily tricks which have proved far more popular at parties, drinking festivities and gatherings than Brandons contributions!
Needless to say, I didn't forward these onto Kiki (or Bob, honestly gals) so I remained GSOH, bubbly, hypo, honest, loyal, friendly and we popped trustworthy in there too. Let the arguments commence! Squirm worthy I know but need all the help I can get these days!
In other news an electric shutter dropped shut on me at work causing much squashing a la Indiana Jones. Now have icky ribs to match my bleeding ears and nose and the scratch marks on my sides from falling down the stairwell. Looks like I've gone toe to toe with Linda Lush when I get nekkid.
And on that note I bid you goodnight readers!

RIIIICE!

Wings xXx

Of Uppers!

C H E E S E ! ! !
Wings

There's nothing so good as feeling absoulute lower than a worms tit depressed and then having your whole environment shift over a period of days! Brief recap - wednesday saw me have a very good night out mauled only by the fact I got shit faced and told Youngun I still liked him and how I wanted some space get my head over him (again we only had a couple of 'dates' but still dug the guy at the time) although lookin back the whole situation was probably blown wide open because of how desperate my relationship status appeared! Anyhoo, after a day of hidin up my own ring we managed have a quick chat and everything is honky dory as mates and I'm still doin what I can set him and NeeNee up (brave lad).
In the meantime I find two songs to really lift my spirits - 'High On Emotion' by Thomas Falke and 'Feels Like Heaven' Dario G. I advise anyone who feels slightly pants to get these choons NOW because they are the next best thing to a cure for cancer!
THEN a lil birdy tells me that a girl from the BBQ (see burnt offerings) who I have had a crush on since meeting her briefly last summer also thought I was ok! Cue big yay from Wings!
So went out tonight from work (I would be the speeding cloud of dust heading towards the distance) with Emz (the birdy) Oli and Vicky (or Kiki for short). After much awkward sober dancing from the pair of us, one 'almost' kiss and Oli's own 'renditions' of queen songs we managed to cause a lil murmour or five from the surrounding people by her proving she's a very good kisser. Hence, beaming cheesey smile and a planned date (suitable for a pair of 8 year olds I might add) for thursday!
Am also officially into my final week at RG3 so will no doubt be a pain in the arse come saturdays leaving do. I will warn all club patrons that I plan to be tres mingin!
So there you have another week in the mind of wings - my bed has still only got a couple of pillows to hug for now but got a date with a funny, gorgeous 19 year old police lady in 4 days time to look forward to!
What is there REALLY to frown about for long? (that my dermatologist would approve of anyway)

A very positive Wings xXx

Of Downers...

Wings

You know when you feel REALLY low? When you think that having all your friends around you and loads of people to talk to will help but there's still a big empty in ya life? That's honestly how I feel right now this minute. I'm on my own, surrounded by the best support group of friends a guy could wish for (Martini, Princess, et al) and I still feel utterly and totally depressed. Dunno what has come over me but lately (as you can tell by the lack of blogs) I've just felt utterly utterly sh1t. I'm fed up of people sh1ttin on me, my job gettin to me and being single and failing at every attempted relationship since september last year. What in the hell is wrong with me?
Admittedly I'm pissed as right now but all the same these thoughts have been slap bang in the front of my mind for at least a month now.
Begginin to lose all faithfulness; got a top flat, decent location, good job on the way, fab social circle yet I still look at stuff in this lame way. And now I've found out that these reaccuring nose bleeds and ear bleeds are something potentially serious and I gotta go hospital tommorrow.
Now I know what the answer to 'what is there to frown about?' too!

A very negative Wings xXx

Of Public Service Announcements...

Wings

If anyone would like a better picture / profile picture in particular added onto their profiles please send them via email or msn and I'll pass them onto our administrative staff here at wingsstoke.

Vain c**ts

Wings xXx

Oli!

Wings

Name - Oliver Yates
Alias - Ol, Oli, Protege, Youngun
Age - 18
Residence - Wolstanton, Twitchy-Curtainsville
Profession - Part Time Classroom Assistant And Football Referee
Favourite Pose - Pensive Thoughtful Granthams Catalogue
Trademark Fashion - Footy Shorts, Wet Flannels
Smokes - Nes Pas
Drinks - Smirnoff Ice (awww)
Loves - Disney, Snooze Buttons, Kiddles, Tinned Food (ICK)
Hates - Drugs, Those 'Book' Things...
Role - Fellow Disneyite And Newbie In Care
Most Likely To Say - Top Banana, How Dooooooooo!
Least Likely To Say - Can I Sniff Yer Poppers :o/

Ricardo!

Wings

Name - Richard Morely
Alias - Rich, Ricardo, Mel, Rachel, Teacherboi
Age - 23
Residence - Jo Hoe Central, Newcastle
Profession - Teaching Co-ordinator for Deaf Primary School Kiddies
Favourite Pose - The Sucky-Cheeky-Pout
Trademark Fashion - Tight Gay Vests
Smokes - Not At All
Drinks - Too Much When Not Working
Loves - Dancin, Squealing, Flirting, Gimme Gimme Gimme, Straight Boys!
Hates - Lack Of Sex, Apples, Lettuce, Other Indigestible Things!
Role - Man Slut And Serial Flirt In A Nice Kinda Way :D
Most Likely To Say - Oh Hi Mel, It's YOU!
Least Likely To Say - Not Tonight I Have A Headache

Of Burnt Offerings!

Wings

There's a bbq on the hill can ya come? Bring your own tins of lager and a water gun!
Wings shall be hosting the second social event of the calendar year to celebrate sunday. Because. Just because! Well, I haven't had one of my traditional shindigs yet this year and thought it was high time for a big get together. So lets rape this sunshine while it lasts!
I'll supply the food as much as possible and the event shall take place in front of fag towers (Mine) about 5ish till late! Y'all welcome but notify by text or tinternet so I know how many bangers to fork! Your drinks are your own responsibility and water pistols a must!
Be cool if you could all come especially as at least 30 have said yes so far by phone alone.
See you on the Lords day,

Wings x

Wings - Strikes Again

Wings

HA! I am officially licensed to say I told you so! He needs to sort a lot of things out dealing with himself, issues over ex blah blah blah so I was right to be as paranoid as a streaker in the snow!

Can't say being right feels good all the time mind.

B x

Of Enigmas (A Most Random Post That Looks In My Head A Lil')

Wings

I've met a guy. He's handsome. He works with kids and referees football. He drives. He's funny. He's straight acting. He's also only just come out of his first ever gay relationship of 9 months in may, lives with his unknowing parents and is 18...
HOWEVER.. he's really caught the Wing-ed ones' attention. This is strictly a very easy paced dating so far - not even dating just three dates - but he's really taken hold of what I'm thinking. A lot! I'm not even sure if I'm doing the right thing as he seems to need to accept himself before he accepts others and he's still wigged out by the club (as proven on monday bless him) and it's not like I'm professing love or anything daft like that off the mark. I tried the slap bang wallop relationship recently and it sure as hell doesn't work outside of Hollywood Rosie! It's just, I just keep thinkin about him. Randomly. Like when I'm ironing. Or at work. Or thinkin aboiut him when I should be concentrating on juggling two jobs again as of the 1st. It's really bizarre. So thought I'd write it down. I ain't gonna act on any of it yet. I'll see where it takes me. But it seems he had a different vision of me from my faceparty compared to how he is since we met. Kinda almost feel like I let him down or summit. Hmmm. Martini assures me it's paranoia so hopefully this will pass. Guess this year is really about firsts and all that mucka!
Can't concentrate too much at the mo anyhoo so gonna hit the sack. Keep smilin y'all!
Wings xXx

Linda Lush!

Wings

Name - Carl John Wootton
Alias - Linda Lush, Voodoo Vera
Age - 14 In Drag Years
Residence - The Three Tuns
Profession - Drag DJ And Mother Hen To The Gay-Nest
Favourite Pose - Doggy Style
Trademark Fashion - Feathers, Sharon Osbourne Hair, Diamantes
Smokes - If There's One Going
Drinks - Just Hook It Up To Her Dialysis Nurse Destiny
Loves - Royal Doulton, Dick, Vodka, Dick, Champagne Taste, Dick
Hates - Ice (Waters It Down), Vaginas And Sunroofs.
Role - Vodka Inhaling Artiste Who Can Press 'Play' Better Than Most
Most Likely To Say - Hiiiiiiiya!
Least Likely To Say - Make Mine A Single!

Chav Princess!

Wings

Name - Ellen Campbell
Alias - Chav Princess, Dude, Melon, Lezza
Age - Unknown due to embalming in alkyfrolix
Residence - Currently Fancy Hanley Town, soon to be Brighton
Profession - Ex Supervisor and Big Lazy
Favourite Pose - Kays Catalogue
Trademark Fashion - Topman Tees with messages, Pink Shorts
Smokes - The Weed
Drinks - Loganberry Red Russian!
Loves - Twister, Badges, Dancing Like A 90's Boyband
Hates - Cheif Bloater, Cheap Ass Strippers, Being Responsible
Role - Arch Nemesis of the Power Rings, All round larf and drink partner!
Most Likely To Say - Ha rar! Ha raaar!!! Haaaa auuuu? or These Drinks Are Playing Merry Hell With My Guts!!!
Least Likely To Say - I Love Work.

Nee Nee / Destiny Diamond

Wings

Name - Neil Harrod
Alias - NeeNee, Destiny, Dialysis Nurse Destiny, NeeNee Panini
Age - 20
Residence - La Tuns, Fancy Hanley Town
Profession - Barlady, DJ, Drag Artiste and General Man Raper!
Favourite Pose - Hand On Hip And SPARKLE!
Trademark Fashion - Anything In Canary Yellow, 4" Heels, Hair Extensions.
Smokes - Like It's Oxygen.
Drinks - Yes Please.
Loves - Autobiographies, Micro Chips, Micro Pizza, Micro Burger, Microwave!
Hates - Mice (Or Spiders With Tails), That Comment, Homeless Stu
Role - Ex House Mate and Gossip Monger, Good With Coffee And A Finger!
Most Likely To Say - Something Bitchy
Least Likely To Say - Oh You Left A Present In The Pan, How Kind!

In Which We Yawn just a lil...

Wings

As you LOYAL and AVID readers may or may not know, we here at Wings HQ have received as much job satisfaction recently as a sponge on the Queen Mums coffin (what is it still too soon??) so it may come as little suprise I finally gave my notice in last night. Rob was pretty cool about it (sure the chardonnay helped) so finished work about 1am this morning to crawl into bed by 2am to drag myself back out at 7am for a shower, shave, shirt and tie and a taxi to The Vodafone Academy (I kid thee not).
In a simple lil canteen serving mud water and frozen chocolate I met 14 other likely candidates. You had the shy-how-did-you-get-thru-clearence-blond who hardly said anything all day, the cocky-arrogant-chav-18yr-old, the loud-but-I'll-lie-about-my-age-on-my-form-and-get-rumbled-at-the-end-of-the-day-twink among others. After kickin global butt on the second lot of interviews (and we're talking floor wiping) I got asked there and then if I could do my final interview and sit in on some calls! Did a VERY nervous 1-on-1 in a stuffy lil room soundin like a retard but she said she was really happy with the answers. An hour later and I start my job on the 1st!!! They drew a contract up for me there and then! So as you can imagine, we are tres happy at gaining sociable hours and REALLY good pay.
Anyone want a vodafone?
Wings xXx

Princess!

Wings

Name - Stephen O'Brien
Alias - Princess, Princess Stephanie, Lippobottomus, Mo Fo
Age - 23
Residence - Merseyside (Mind Yer Gold...)
Profession - Whip Bearer and Telephone Abuser
Favourite Pose - The Pout
Trademark Fashion - 'Scally' Wear (A different field to 'Chav' Wear)
Smokes - Not According To Anyone Else...
Drinks - Pints Of Marmite and Treacle (Guiness)
Loves - Muscle Marys, Comics, Cartoons, Moofans, Starbucks.
Hates - Queens, Eggs, Bic Razors, Updating His Profiles.
Role - Soul Mate, Brother Tpye Fella and Fellow Geek.
Most Likely To Say - Bye byee, byyeeee, babababa, byeee!
Least Likely To Say - Can I Borrow Your Rolex?

An Utterly Random Crayon Thing...

Wings

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Stroponstoke!

Wings

Name - Steve Robbins
Alias - Stroponstoke, Princess Stephanie (1 of 2), Bee 2, Stroppy Bee
Age - Due to legal reasons with the publicist we'll say 19
Residence - Robbins/Joynson Palace, Bozlumm
Profession - General Nay Sayer and Charity Worker
Favourite Pose - The 'Im so happy to have my photo taken, frame me Gloria'
Trademark Fashion - Blue bits in hair, tiara, wand, £4.99 wigs
Smokes - Like a lady
Drinks - Like a fish
Loves - Jesse Metcalf, His Wifey Paul, Stella Artwat, Nana Ogg
Hates - Bush Arse's Thongage, R&B, Chavs and Chavettes, Children
Role - The ever wise cracking bee with more than a compliment to give most anyone or anything in her own sadistic way!
Most likely to say - A full range of expletives
Least likely to say - Doesn't Stella look really glamourous tonight?