Mattchu!

Wings

Name - Matthew Lockett
Alias - Mattchu, Miss Lockett, Dahling
Age - 22
Residence - Fenton
Profession - Facilities Management Adminsitrator aka Ball Breaker
Favourite Pose - "Thursday!"
Trademark Fashion - Shaved Bits, Checkered Shirts, Childrens Shoes
Smokes - Nopey
Drinks - Most Nights Of The Week
Loves - Drinking, Day Old Kebabs, Porn And Any Animal He Can Palm Off On Boxing Day
Hates - Rob White, Foot Fetishes, Being In Any One Job For More Than 5 Months
Role - The Level Headed One TO Quote Incredibles With
Most Likely To Say - It Breathes Like Egyptian Cotton And DAHLING!!!
Least Likely To Say - I'll Take Three Pills And A Gram Of Coke

Of Mumsy!

NOW WE KNOW SHE'S WATCHING...

Wings
Name - Barbara Haslehurst (Your Middle Name Is Safe With Me!)
Alias - Plenty Online Names But I Call Her Mother!
Age - 49 Going On 26
Residence - Kidsgrove
Profession - Student, Festival Mascot, And Commissioning Administrator?
Favourite Pose - Flying Down The Stairs
Trademark Fashion - Shiny Things Like Scarves, Amber Accessories And Big Hair
Smokes - I've Been Assured No...

Drinks - Wine, Whiskey, Baileys, Wine, More Wine?
Loves - Live Bands, Bernard Butler, Italian Food, Glen And Her Perfect Kids (Kind Of Given Really)
Hates - Dogs, Bicycles, Sickly Food, Flights Of Stairs... :)
Role - Previously Chauffeur, Bank, Psychiatrist, Chef, Cleaner Etc
Most Likely To Say - Any Range Of Dirty Laughs
Least Likely To Say - I'm Tired

Of Buzz, Sky And 50 Inches...

TING TING!

DOM, BOBBY AND MATTCHU

ATTACK OF THE BIG HAIRS!!!

CAN YOU POUT LIKE MADAM...?

Wings
Good day to you all! Had half an hour between laundry so thought I would pop a quick update for you keen readers (!)
This month has mostly been about getting new toys for the living room. Me and Rob were finally fed up last sunday of our TV whistleing whenever it was on for longer than 20 minutes due to the amount of wiring for dvd players, freeview, speakers etc causing feedback. So we popped over to festival park down the road and thought we'd browse at what sort of TV we could get in the summer. We came out of Comet half an hour later having bought a new 50" tv. We now have to stop Chris from trying to get into the flat as he keeps thinking it's the odeon... it's freaking massive. But fun for games and mtv (or foozeball if you're Bobby). Of course this prompted Rob to convince me that we needed sky for the world cup etc in the summer. So I'm now waiting in on my day off for a nice man with a big box. Luckily we get it all half price rental anyhoo due to my vodafoneing but now I can watch Dexters Lab at 3am if need be!!!
Had a night out with Stuey, Heidi, Hayley, Matt, Jamie and the hubby the other saturday up the club. All gathered at ours and exerimented the crushing of fruits and vodka in the blender as well as doing plenty of apple and raspberry sourz. Lovely. Had a buzz tournament and it's definatly better when there's more of you to scream out answers and look befuddled at some obscure 1960's tune (that ony Rob and Jamie will know... oh dear). Ended up somewhat smiley in the club dancing like a loon. As per.
Also had a bit of a guddun sunday night after seeing the APPALLING Scary Movie 4 up in Bar 2. Didn't drink much but did manage to topple a chair me and Matt were perched on trying to get away from Dom's boogers... classy that he is. Also ended up trying to stop Rob being cheeky wth coppers and stealing Madams goggles!
In other news Madam is getting a lil lonely living in York Street with his gremlin... I mean cat... so he's moving in with Mattchu on the 1st of May. This means I'll be forever handing back the keys to my old pad and Adie will be sharing old mimsy-ville with Bush Arse. Envious much Stropon?
Also Martini has moved into Tom's place and given up York st. Unfortunatly another crap cat impersonator (Porcha) has joined them so I wish Tom all the luck in the world. Is a nie place really in Middleport with all the rooms looking out onto the canal. I've been assured the geese at 6am aren't so twee when you're recovering on a sunday.
Jez has also popped back from Edinburugh and taken a lil interest in Madam. Cute especially as he's now thinking of moving back to stoke but not before Me and Rob stop off in Edinburgh on our way to Inverness at the end of next month!
That's all I can pull off the top of my head for now so until next time, toodle pip!

Wings xXx

Of Manchester, Reflections and Pills...

BOBBY, MADAM, DOM, BIG GIRL AND MATTCHU WAITING FOR TRAMPS...
DOM, EMMA, MARTINI, MADAM, MATTCHU, GAAAAAVIN AND BOBBY - CHOO CHOO
THE LOVELY PRINCESS STEPHANIE WITH HER CONSORTS A LA TRENDZ

Wings
Howdle do gentle web folk. Well plenty to say so get comfy at the back. Steve being over was a belter - long overdue as per but started in Chez Gayz (thanks for the comments on the flat pics btw) eating 16 inch chicken and jalepeno pizzas in a record 15 minutes and still managed get ready and in a cab in time.Popped to the regent theatre of all places due to Princess having managed to bag us some seats for 'Starlight Express' from his friend (director/star/choreographer no less) Mike (I seem to recall through the haze of cocktails and shooters) pictured bottom left. Needless to say it wasn't my kind of thing to be honest - anything Andrew Lloyd Webber has me shaking in my golashes - but the stunts and some of the tricks were pretty good as well as a lot of the singing and Mikes 'Electra' character stole the show from the whiney assed lead without a doubt. Also a first for me to wear 3-D glasses for anything - pretty surreal to be honest. My review? Imagine watching Thomas the Tank on a dangerous cocktail of rohypnol, gold label and heroin and you're halfway there.
Rest of the night was spent knocking back more booze, dancing wildly with Martini, Madam, Dom and Bobby and actually managing to last the night!!!! Princess snuck out the following morning and despite his tempting offer of coffee and muffins up hanley I had to decline due to some soft twat (me) agreeing to do 4 hours overtime that sunday at work.
Also managed to get a weekend in Manchester just gone. It was Dom's unofficial birthday party so seven of us and one desserter (Gaaaaavin, under the thumb bless) headed off to Canal St for my second visit. I'm sorry to say it was a bit flat. Personally it seems to be one of those places you either have to be a mincing smiling coke head or a gurnng bouncing pill popper to enjoy. Sensibly I am neither of these. So after watching most of the others climb the walls (and their faces) me, Bobby and Mattchu decided to do the best most responible thing imaginable.

We ate McTuckys chicken.

Yes, boring as it may be we ended up filling our faces on an 8 piece and talking to some random gals from the local area who were off to a breakfast bar. Is it just me or have I become old? I mean I wouldn't mind so much if I'd turned into my mother - at least I'd carry on bopping (as she has proved so many times). But Essential cost £10 to get in and all it had was indecipherable music downstairs (is this the same song for three hours kinda thing) or really camp pap upstairs (Girls Aloud and Take That). Same problem as Nightingales in Brum really. Although we did get to see Miss Lunt behind the bar and there was no danger of running (a knife) into Margo or Dicky so there were some good points.
However after spending £20 on bus tickets we never ended up using, learning how to stop traffic in the road off Rob, watching some vagrant in nothing but a pea green coat and a smile in the bus station, and trying to guess what Dom was on only to find out it was red bull he was hopped up on, we embarked upon a 5am Hackny Carriage ride home (£70 - bargain) to which I went to bed nearly in tears I was so tired. I've come to the conclusion that so far, away from Stoke, I only enjoy Blackpool (depressing in itself really) so roll on STF06!
In other news it seems EVERYBODY is trying to get away from Stoke. Vinca is moving from across the road to Manchester with James in two months, Hayley-Jane goes to Australia on a GAP year to work as of thursday night and David Lane moves to Swindon in five weeks with a new jobby. After seeing Miss Lunt and Steve go and gagging to spend WAY longer out in Gran Canaria I got thinking as to why I'm stuck in this God forsaken city. Until I realised - I actually really like it here. Yeah the night life blows, the weathers crap, and the shopping is shit BUT I've got my dream pad with the dream guy (bleurgh, I know), most of my family here and my mates are never too far away (OK so Hayley is taking the piss) and my next holiday won't take forever. So yeah, I actually don't mind being stuck here. As long as I'm stuck happy :)

And on that sentimental schmack, I'll bid thee fair night

Wings xXx