Of Inverness, Propellers, Sleazer and X3

ELLA, HAZEL AND UNCLE JOHN

OH YES, HE'S THE BUTCH ONE...

Wings
Much to write again tonight folks as I feel a lappy gums moment coming on. First off was the highly celebrated birthday of Madam who is 19 years young (bitch) and we celebrated in style mimicking all those sad slappers you see in a white limo glugging cheap cheap fizz and asking the driver to "Bond St Pats" (much to his amusement). Also the programme that has the nation gripped. Love it or hate it this has to be the most addictive BB to date! We've got rid of scary as hell Shabaz, stinky hippy Dawn, George the posh stereotype and Bonnah (and everythin). We've seen Sezer for the chauvinistic cocky prick he is (please go friday), Lea is really just a tart with a heart (love her), and now know what it's like in the mind of a child trapped in a 24 year olds body (Nikki the tantrum queen). Thankfully Rob is as sad as me although we were starved in Scotland as we spent the friday night watching Bonnah getting the boot from a bar in Edinburgh with Jez and the missed the saturday show to watch X-Men 3 in Inverness with my uncle. Which was totally worth missing my new pet project and the 2 year wait. What a film! I was in geek heaven spotting the cameos, random deaths and the lil clip after the credits (twist turn etc). Defo the best yet by far! Although gotta say the thrill of watching winged men crashing through windows and Jean doing her freaky phoenix thang was nothing compared to the heart pounding experience of getting on board an aircraft that used two hand held fans to keep it 25'000 foot in the air. Prop planes should have been abolished at the invention of the jet engine but no. Some fool decided to fly one on the way to Edinburgh in the rain and wind and.... meh! Was cool seeing my 20 month old cousin for the first time though - even if she did take more of a shine to Rob. He actually has a pretty strong untapped maternal streak too by the looks of it which was cute to see displayed on something other than a labrador pup.
Well my head is fried thanks to this grotty cold that seems to have gotten into the air con at work so I'll sign off now and update more accuratly laters methinx (and when this crap ass computer stops freezing when uploading pics). Till then tataa for now peeps
Wings xXx

Of Spinning, Abbreviations and BB7

...AND WE ALL WONDERED WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO BABS...

Wings

OK. You go to the zoo. You visit the monkey house. It's full of bizzare hairy loud creatures. They're throwing faeces at eachother. It's disgusting, primal, aggressive and slightly funny. But you can't stop watching the mess behind the glass screen in front of you. This is exactly how I feel about Big Brother 7. After gathering the usual gang at mine for voddy and biccys we watched in horror as 14 of Britains (ok and 1 Canadian) weirdest citezens went into the second most famous house in Blighty. Between the wanker and whistle of Pete, the bum curling touchy feelyness of Shabaz and the shout at your telly Nikki I think we're in for a freaking STUNNER of a series. Love it or hate it but Big Brother has landed. And so goes my social life for 93 days...
Which should help me to concentrate a little more for my interview at work for UHVC (yes it wouldn't be vodafone if you didn't have an abbreviation) or Ultra High Value Care. No this is not a laundry detergent, it's a fully encompassing job of brown nosing, multi tasking and 30% more lolly on my current basic. So good karma headed wigsward for tuesday please folks.
I also find it to be my duty, nay, my MISSION, to warn you all of the Devil lurking in our midst since the end of 1998. No it's not the fluff under Glorias bed, it's the eternally damnable torture art commenly referred to as 'Spinning'. Imagine it if you will. You walk into a room with black walls and a couple of fans on the floor with a few rows of excercise bikes. About four middle aged skin sacks and an overly hyperactive gym lady with a croyden facelift and a penchant for wearing grey (just so you can see the sweat) join you. You think "hey an hours bike ride to Dance Nations 2004 doesn't sound that bad", right?
Wrong.
Half an hour in after my feet had flown out of the straps a few times, I'd dribbled lucozade hydro into my gasping mouth and lost the feeling in my ankles I was quite ready to use sheer will power to make my static vehicle run down the trollop who was mumbling enthusiastically for us all to "add resistance, a little faster, out of your saddle on four" etc.
Bitch.
After feeling pretty ill by the fact I'd had my tea about an hour before hand and sweating like a glass blowers arse me and Rob promptly went to the tuns for a swift one to celebrate Marcias birthday and listen to Ruby 'unique rendition' of Nelly the Elephant... hmmmm....
In other news it appears that the club is officially to aquire Bar Chronique (aka Bar PR mark2) and Monica is taking over Fusion (previously La De Daa) to further dilute Stokes waneing scene.
Also Madams birthday looms next wednesday with everyone in the same place at the same time so THAT should be interesting. Methinks an early sherry by the DJ box with Joan and Mattchu and me and Rob may slide up as the others start to scale the walls...
I'm off to bed now as too much BB has made me tired and my eyes are acheing.
Nighty Night xxx

Of Coffee, Breaking and Entering, Dr Dolittle and Getting My Hair Off

MAH BLOSSOM TREE

CAN YOU SPOT WHERE THE STORAGE HEATER WAS?

THAT THREE BAR FIRE... SHUDDER

THE KITCHEN WHERE YOU COULD HAVE AN OVEN OR A FRIDGE BUT NEVER BOTH!

Wings

IT's been a busy couple of weeks for my poor feathered apendages. So sit back and get a coffee on...
Went to Sherrins last wednesday for a bloody good catch up. It's been ages since I sat with the Queen Bee balanced on her haphazard furniture, surrounded by cats, DVDs and pieces of ham. Miss Taylor and Dave came too and we just looked at photo albums, planned vigils in various monastaries and jails around Britain, touched upon the subject of Blackpool and more than once mentioned how we never get to do this sort of thing anymore. I can honestly say I probably saw more of Miss Bergvist when she lived over an hours bus ride away in Crewe as opposed to a five minute drive or 3o minute walk up the road. Scandalous really but after giving the club up again (more later) I think I'll have a few more free night on my hands. It was also the last chance I got to see Dave Lane who is full of the joys of moving and starting his new job away from Stoke. We wish him good luck!
Another much needed catch up has been with Joan. She recently moved into her own place in Norton with stunning views, elderly sweet old ladies, his mum round the corner and his menagerie of pets! Bluey the blue staffy bull (I'm sure we ALL know of him...), Maxwell and Patrick the cats (or Max and Paddy), two goldfish and two stick insects. As ever he's done the place up stunning, especially when you see the before and after pics! Plenty of ideas for my next place anyhoo...
Last saturday ended up in the club (as per) with Rob, Oli, Scott, Dom, Matt and the birthday girl Gemma. After turning everyones tummies with JoJo's website and not my cocktails for once, we piled into a minibus and met Gem up town. For once she didn't finish the night on her knees hiding from doorstaff on the dancefloor. In fact she ended up helping Joey hold me back from decking Aaron (general ass-wipe, pill pusher and friend buyer) who had upset Scott. I've never really got on with Aaron since last september time so once I'd had a voddy or two and managed to convince Scott to stay in the club and not get forced off I was more than happy to air my view on the Ike Turner wannabe. Ended up at home singing Kate Bush on Singstar with Gem. She has approved of Rob (which really makes a first!) so I guess we're officially allowed to go out now!
Sunday was spent breaking back into York St as Madam had locked himself out AGAIN on the last day of him living there. Lot's of hammering, chiseling and drilling later we were finally in rewiring manilla looking wall fittings and rebuilding the door out of filler (like play-doh for big kids). After making sure it was all sorted we left the flat bare and empty and smelling like varnish. It looked just like that first day back in May of 2004 when I first moved in. Kinda gutted really remembering back to having Chloe, the failed BBQ, a few good parties and my first real place to myself. Luckily the lady who came to survey it didn't seem to realise that there was £400 worth of heater missing from the living room after a decorating spree in 2005 so thanks to Madams papering think I got away with that one...
Other than all that me and Rob have decied to keep tabs away from the scene again for a few months. The place is getting full of bitches, drug heads and kids again so we're gonna spend the summer in normal bars up town (where you can pee at a trough in peace!) and only go the cub if need be on the 10th for Rob's birthday. It's a pity really cos' you usually feel out of the loop but with catching up with friends and Inverness at the end of this month it should be fine.
Besides, how does a group of gurning freaks with perma-tans in a shoddy room up hanley compare to Jeremiah and Edinburghs cheap as chips tipple in it's night time glory?!
Speak to ya'll soon,

Wings xXx

Of Smoothies, Hangovers and Sentinels...

"BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

LETS PLAY SPOT THE MALE...

TOM AND MARTINI'S TRADEMARK REDEYE

Wings
A merry and drizzly bank holiday to you all! Having finally gotten a day off to enjoy the typical british summer I think I'll be spending most of my morning getting over saturday night.
Now that Muffin and Tom have got weekends free and following Dom and Madams new trend of not working saturdays for a while we all decided to make the most of payday weekend. Lots of blending smoothies with 50% vodka volumes and buzz sessions later we all piled into a minibus from ours and piled into the tuns a l a blotto. Oli and Scott joined us and along with Mattchu the night was a belter! Was yelling abuce in trendz, dancing to SPEECHLESS and generally wandering around aimlessly. Also ended up with a rather bizarre tongue condition due to the new barmen giving me a cherry VK everytime I wanted another flavour - which meant everyone kept buying them for me too - yak! Come 2am though Madam had got a case of bad hair and Rob (sensibly) pointed out that I was working sunday morning.
And what a sunday. Spent most of the time with a bin next to me taking calls and staring at the keyboard trying to interact witht screen in front of me as little as possible. Not gonna drink on a school night again.
Nothing much else to say other than the new X-Men trailer had me squealing like a Tom last night with the sight of Sentinels, fastball specials and the danger room (Princess understands) and I got my dates mixed up and missed Daves leaving do in fat cats so hopefully catch him before he's off to Swindon!
More profiles on the way too you lucky beggers - although I need a piccy of Mrs Stropon (Paul) as he ain't had one yet (hint hint)

Wings xXx