Of Smitten, Apple Sourz and Nuns...

OLI, THE LOVELY ROB AND MARTINI

BEX AND CHARLIE (WITH ALL NEW HAIR!)

DOM WEIGHS UP TO JULIE

Well... where to start? Oh wait I think I'll begin with my new favourite subject. Mr Locker. Aka the perfect match. Local? Check. Sane? Check. Same age? Check. Down to earth? Check. Cute? Check. We won't go into much more detail as doing that on here tend to jinx these things in much the same way a well placed Julie does (lol) but suffice to say if you've been anywhere near me since friday you would have heard the rave reviews on this guy. If you haven't then you obviously need educating...
Had the best weekedn EVER which started friday at the club with Martini, Dom, Charlie and Rob whereby this time I didn't throw up in front of customers nor make a tit of myself. Instead spent most of the time (to quote Cat) "eating face" in trendz bar. A part of any healthy well balanced diet as you may know...
Sunday saw a real comeback for the sunday social. On deciding to leave the cinema for a week or two we (me, Martini, Rob, Oli, Dom, Charlie, Adam and Bex) ventured to Aruba for bogof cocktails, JFK for £3 rounds of apple sourz and the club for such dance 'classics' as Music Man, Okie Kokie, Gang Bang and Conga. I'm being serious was like a primary school disco minus the game of tag and with the bonus of Scary (Sue) Mary who insisted on getting her doughy baps out for all to see and flashing her arse. Although we have to wonder as to why Adam and Oli were both so interested in a 40+ year olds dairy sacks... scary indeed especially for the likes of Dom!
Had a pretty chilled night Monday watching Rob get plastered and propping him against tables while his mate Jamie FORCED black aftershock upon me (revenge shall be had sunday) as well as meeting Oli's Joey properly again and finding out he is actually a sound guy.
Spent tonight exchanging creepy stories with Charlie, Martini, Dom and Adam while watching Sister Act (a first) and most haunted. Then watching in horror as the child and Dom didn't 'get' the 'Comedy Side of 7 Days' (disgraceful).
In other news Ricky and Ben moved into Chez Gays, Julie has officially been incarcerated into the sunday social, Charlie and Adam are having a flingish-drunk-thingy, I set up most of my deals at work for mates rates and Dicky royally pissed off everybody. Everywhere.
Plans for this week include payday friday so big shop as I'm off work for a week as of thursday, dressing up as Pennywise from 'It' for fridays halloween party and having another reunion for sunday with the additions of Jamie, Joey and my Lil Sis Rhia :)
Bring on the sourz,

A very high flying Wings xXx

Of Skin, Sofa Fun and Kettles...

LET ME GUESS MARTINI - "THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T DRINK...?"

Wings

I could wee! Not only has Agent Benji managed to secure the extremely rare Jaque Lu Cont Remix of Madonnas 'Hung Up' single but my sister has just told me that Skin (from Skunk Anansie to all you heathens who don't know) is playing at the Sugerpit on 4th November!!! WOW! I'll be able to groove on down to the new single and solo classics 'Faithfulness' and 'Listen To Yourself' so going to drag the Agent, his wifey and my sis along for the fun!
Had a very intimate night with somebody last night - being a gentleman I'm not one to drop names HOWEVER he can be found on this fair blog :) answers on a post card please. Let's just say it was a really cosy night in curled up on the sofa (thank you ikea!) and it hit me that it's been way too long since I've been able to do that with anyone and feel comfortable about it.

Now investing in an inflatable doll.

Also saw Ricky and Lil Bro yesterday to give the lads their kettle, iron, toaster and sandwich toaster courtesy of 'Wings Queer Rehousing Programme'. the Agent and his wifey Ricky have FINALLY found a little chateux in oakhill that they move into on saturday. So big congratulations on the birth of 'Chez Gays' (sorry agent but 'Casa Bumbasha' ain't a place I'd wanna hold a house party...)

Nothing much more to report for now... pretty bloody good week in all so you'll catch me friday night largin it up on the tiles a la Club and making a general fool of myself in a soldier outfit... :)

Wings (flying high)

Of Being Locked, Cocked And Loaded...

It's a double birth this month as Mr Locker starts his own blog too this week. Pop on over to our vodka drenched socialite of Club and Tuns fame!

www.robstoke83.blogspot.com

Say howdy y'all

Wings xXx

Of Brum, Satan and Canellini Beans...

YES THE DANCERS WERE 'THAT' DISTRACTING IN NIGHTINGALE >:oP

...AND THEN THERE WAS THE YELLOW PERIOD TO REPLACE 'BASTARD GREEN'...

Well lets just get the naff stuff out of the way first. The fast spirraling dating that was me and Richard (of Warick fame) has officially crash landed. You know the drill on here by now folks. Follow emergency lights; exits are situated here here here and here!
However, not one to dwell for once (hmmm) we set off to Birmingham this weekend to do one final bout of celebrating in the name of Martini. 'What is this?' I hear you cry (albeit very quietly) 'Were you not to travel to Liverpool instead to see Princess Stephanie and her tribe of merry dancers?'. Alas not it would seem as Martini decided trying to book the accomodation on the thursday would suffice. Ne Pas. So after changing the location to Blackpool (just been) to Manchester (pretentious) to Brum we decided on the land of the yam yams instead!
So had my first official forays into the worlds of Missing, Route 2 and Nightingale. Good times had all round but we didn't manage to make it till 6am due to the whole 'we don't do drugs and there ain't enough bull-wee lined taurine drinks keep us upright' thing going on. So it was a shower and ITV nightscreen for me by 4am (see I'm a good girl I am).
Today saw a kareoke style journey home courtesy of our Madge along with the new tummy tickler "Come Satan We Fly" saying on a garage forecourt. Tonight we had a trip to see Wallace and Gromit at the cinema. Definatly the best yet (although before I wasn't really a W&G fan) and me and Oli decided we need a bunny from Toys R Us asap! Chinese proved as interesting as ever with the delectable Miss Linda Lush sat opposite retelling tales from past days and swapping sex stories with the rest of the table; who knew Julie had a clit like a canellini bean...

And on that note I fare thee all goodnight!

Wings and Co.

Of Woods, Ruperts and Kittens!

WE CAN'T WAIT FOR HALOWEEN... )>:D

Just a quick one to say that the Amphitheatre down on the Keele campus is as creepy as ever. Visited it for the first time in about three years and is as nasty as ever. Went down with Heidi, Stu and Mark after Kinky Boots on monday night armed with a digital camera. We found it suprisingly quick compared to how long it used to take and ventured in where I told about how Aleistar Crowley used the place for his black arts worship mumbo jumbo. We got back to the car and tried to watch the footage back... which only showed us entering the woods and nothing more just a blank disc. Went back up tonight to see if we could spot anything else this time with Martini, Dicky, Oli, Ricky and Ben and after finally finding the place in the piss wet rain I told them also - this time nothing freaky happened but we didn't have the camcorder. To be continued? Well as long as it doesn't rain on Stu...
Also had a random phone call from a guy called Rupert who told me to "stay away from my boyfriend bitch your f**kin number is on his phone" to which I said "Ok...?" and he hung up. Omly thing is the only person who has this number since I got my new phone that I send those sort of texts to is Richard so a little jilted with my jinxed past...
Also saw Rhia and Beths kittens (which are UBER cute) and had muchy chinese buffet up Mr Chans with Katie, Jenna and Jase which was a nice get together for a change!
Off to bed now as it's way past 10pm :D

Wings xXx

Of Shaming Pictures...

In an effort to lighten your day, we here at WingsStoke take great pride in publishing these pics of just a few people you know who would rather you didn't really see them.

Hey ho.



WHATS MORE PAINFUL, MY BEEHIVE OR HIS SMILE?

ADAM AKA OSTRITCH BOY!

THOSE SLIPPERS WILL...

ATTACK OF THE TOMATO HEAD!!!

NEENEE RESORTS TO A SLIMMER WAIST BY ANY MEANS...
UM... CHINESE ANYONE?

ROGER RABBIT 2 NOW IN PRODUCTION!

Of Dying, Lil Bro And Kinky Boots...

NEENEE WAS DETERMINED TO BE THE BEST HE PIMP THIS SIDE OF CANAL ST... GOOD LUCK
Wings

First off how bloody awful was saturday night? I had the beefiest hangover ever made all the worse by the fact that most of the customers were complete wankers at the club. Me, Martini and Dom felt very sorry for ourselves and nearly floored many a patron of Stoke fame as well as yours truly kicking the brown stuff out of a cellar cushion.
Sunday was a much more lucid affair with both Adam (back from Ibiza, tanned and a little tired) and lil Bro Oli (two month hiatus from all things clubby) making their return to the sunday social. Went to see Serenity. DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE IT IS HIDEOUS! Good trailer and Joss Whedon makes it seem promising but it ain't Buffy in space by a long shot. Walked out with Adam and Oli half way through leaving a very puzzled trio of Martini, Dom and Dicky to wonder why we were taking so long in the loo. It's just that there was a que. In Bar2's loos that is which is where we scampered off to!
Brought Martini's birthday in with much Malibu and Destiny DJing (for Dayle mainly :o/ ) although everyone still seemed a bit flat from the night before and the fact we had wasted a fiver a piece in the odeon kennels.
Monday saw Kinky Boots night down at Warner Village although the late advertising saw just a handful of people turn out to make the most of the Club Members Free Entry Offer although Linda and Destiny looked fab for the sentinal and turned a few heads (and stomachs with their comments) in the foyer. Much better film albeit a trannie flick and got to throw popcorn at various people (Charlie, Rob Locker, Linda, Lindas Wig) so good time had by all really.
Think that's all for now - except to say that I'm here for Katie and Jase even though they're having a pants time at the mo my place is always open (keep it clean Glo) and my toolkit is good to go (it gets worse).

HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY MARTINI! :op

Wings xXx

Of Leglessness, Riding White Swans And The Great Escape...

ADOPT A TRANNIE TODAY FOR JUST £2 A MONTH YOU COULD BUY JOJO NEW HAIR...


She was surrounded by folk deutchland afar. She travelled here from the chester of man to grace our hallowed halls with her sublime presence. She has lopped off her fair locks and discarded her flares of trew. She was still the same lady of the north we all know and love and she was down Friday. Was great seeing Miss Lunt again here in stoke-upon-the-ming and a pretty blotto night was had by all.
A popular theory is that Dan lined everyones drinks with rohypnol. It had nothing to do with the three at a time shots of ouzo I was downing at Martini's befor we even left his flat for the first leg of his birthday celebrations! Nor the blue wkd/reef combos we were knocking back in pint glasses. Nor the reported double absinthe I downed because Dom refused to believe his was a green aftershock.
All I can remember is seeing Ian and being with him, Martini, Destiny, Dicky and Jojo (who we adopted for the first part of the night). Next thing I recal I was dancing with Mandos on the dancefloor. Then I woke up this morning wearing a sock and a hangover. There was a buckett of sick next to the loo (why I didn't use the loo who knows) and a school uniform (it wouldn't be a night at the club without fancy dress) strewn about. From talking to various people we learnt the absinthe story as well as:

I snogged Emma/Big Girl as did most of us
I yelled at a guy get out of a cubicle to which I then pinched for my own release
The absinthe story
I somehow managed to escape from Martini's flat when we got home after they went out for food despite having been carried in
Rob Locker pinched my bum and talked to me
So did newbie James
I threw up. Lots. In front of everyone outside the club :(

Roll on next weekend for liverpool - we only hope Miss Lunt can ride her white swan to join us as we're meeting Princess Stephanie too!

A (still very poorly at 6am on sunday morning) Wings xXx

Of Fresh Meat...

NOT TOO BORED EH?


Wings

A new bee is born - placenta party to follow but be careful, he's still sticky!

www.agentbenji1986.blogspot.com

Now Available Online, Spaulls Exclusive 'Red' Line!

AVAILABLE FROM A TKMAXX NEAR YOU...

Of Saints And Sinners

TEMPTATION PROVED TOO MUCH FOR SAINT BEN...

Now we all know that the non-hetero community as a whole are going straight to hell, but who would have guessed there's be the one angel amoung the bar staff? Yes I abandoned my idea of a Jesus costume for Heaven and Hell on friday and opted for the less sweaty wig wearing affair of Club Angel. White trainers, white knee downs, tight white levi boxers, two white belts, a pait of wings, white hair spray and a small bucket of glitter to prove I can do innocent witht the best of taste and in minimal clothing. Staff went all out in kitting up with Spaulls Sweatshop Workers outfits and we had a scream! Caused quite a murmour in asda after as Me, Martini, Destiny, Dom, Bex, Charlie, Dicky, James and a few randoms went for qquick food and fast laughs. Had to hide my modesty with a pack of oatcakes as the neon lighting tubes proved I wasn't jewish in my outfit and Martini suddenly became aware just how high his shorts went. Good time had by all. Big thanks to everyone who dressed up too - plenty of efforts made for once by customers too!
Haloween next! >:D

Wings xXx